horrible horrible horrible!

i hate this feeling of anxiety yet a little bit of possible hopelessness. waa! ive been waiting for a total of 15 days! yes, today is the 15th day :( when is it going to come. my mum says it'll take at least a month or so for something to arrive from overseas. am i going to wait til i go crazy or what!

everything seemed so fine a week ago til now, it suddenly struck me. what if, they delivered it wrongly! oh come on, which fellow countryman here would actually go back to the post office to return the wrong post :( well unless my assumption is wrong, and people who cares still exist, then perhaps it'll come to me :D

my address was written in small letters! i am so dead, what if they really did deliver it wrongly! urghs! how careless of me! why didnt i change the stupid address! i am uber angry at myself! horrible horrible horrible! i brought this upon myself :(

i received a very disgusting MMS yesterday. when i first opened the message under the sun in school, i thought the picture was rather dark, so i couldnt figure out the picture. then i took a closer look, and realised it was a picture of a naked man! sheesh. for some apparent reason, sitting seemingly in a bathtub staring right into the camera. what a silly thing to do. its either someone took it from his phone and forwarded to multiple people, or (as nicole suggested) he sent it to the wrong person. instead of his girlfriend, he typed in the wrong number and sent it to me :/

so stupid. i even got excited upon the thought of reporting this to the police. well, it was my first time getting 'prank' messages like this xD to think i had just watched crimewatch on channel 5 2 nights before, about the gang bullying a girl.

all righty! i shall sit here in solitude, waiting for achordants to come.. sighs~

hmms, its mr chan's concert this saturday. another beautiful studying saturday gone. ahh! exams are so near! its about 5 weeks to go and i have only touched up on my first few chapters of chemistry (most of them still incomplete) and physical geography (unable to remember everything yet). oh how horrigible! ive been slacking way too much now!

and the worst part is,



i brought this all upon myself!! :((

ive been able to see a lot more about people recently.

i absolutely cannot wait for the Achordants album!

hmm, there is a sense of emptiness within me. i dont exactly know where it is radiating from? i dislike this feeling. it makes me feel sad and that im just wasting my life away. perhaps, thats what im really doing right now.

the '11th week' of school is soon over. im not exactly happy or sad. this is supposed to be the resting period for us, but the mountain load of homework is killing us all! there goes our break. in about 48 hours time, i'll have to put on the uniform again.

well, ive just returned from the laxest and most easy-going band camp. not in terms of discipline and punctuality, but the fact that we had sectionals for almost an entire day on friday. and once again, we have yet to accomplish much. i wouldnt say we havent done a thing, but just not enough to reach sir's target and all our goals of getting a gold in the beijing competition and of course fantasia. i think its quite impossible now :( i sound horrible, i hate myself (all my good reeds died)!

i cant help but laugh inside about you. strange behaviour of yours, haha. its awfully humorous! i wonder if you realise that yourself? how freaky!

we watched this japanese drama(?) during the 2 nights of band camp, 'Nodame Cantabile'. this originated from a japanese manga. i thought it was quite an interesting show. though i havent completed the whole series or planned to complete since o levels' just around the corner (well, i might consider completing after the 'oh-so-disliked' Os) , i would say the drama would look nicer than its animation. haha. no offence, but the animation doesnt exactly seem as 'lively' as its drama. i thought this show had a fair amount of music and humour and a bit of romance, rather balanced out unlike in some shows.

all right! i should get going, its terrible to think about doing all these exciting things knowing that the O levels' drawing near :(

"ohh, it must a woman again"

sound familiar?

it was a normal monday evening whereby i had to stay back for band til about 6.30pm. who doesnt wish to go home at such a late hour (for me)? especially when theres school the next morning at 7am again. so there we set off from the gates of our school back home, sending roxanne to her bus-stop as well.

we slowly approached one of the road divisions, turning into the branch and to another road. then a car came by and was trying to cut into queue, which we have already been waiting for a long time with the other tens of cars behind. well, obviously this wasnt our first encounter. my mother had constantly been complaining about this situation and insists on tapping this down on her mobile phone so that we could email it in to the government officials incharge of roads.

not only did the car try to squeeze into the queue, the lady on board, who was sitting on passenger seat next to the driver's glared at my mother, trying to signal to her to let them squeeze in. my mother, who had already been angered by several of these situations, frowned and complained about them to roxanne and i. perhaps from the lady's view, it would appear as if my mother was scolding them since they could not hear whatever my mum had said through the sealed window.

in the end, my mother had let them squeeze in as they had persistently managed to stick the head of their car in front of ours. angered, my mum started to complain to us.

for some reason, we skipped from that issue to the fact that men often looked down on women drivers. its not like i am criticizing the male species, or stereo-typing all the males. but there is something i have to highlight on. even though we are living in the era of equality among men and women, some people still have the mentality that they are more capable then women. and when it comes to driving, its always "whos that driver? must a woman, so slow!", "must be a woman, so lousy".

all right, fine. we are perhaps slightly more calm when driving, reducing the possibility of us getting into a car accident. being slightly more reserved during parking, we dont wish to crash into any neighbouring cars. being slightly shorter and not able to see from the height unlike most men when parking.

being considerate about the safety of people around us when driving maybe like a portion of men in the country.

but hey! "how can she cut into the queue? we've been waiting here for so long!", "what sort of driver is she, fancy instruding into the line of cars?" oh.. how perfect, its our fault again. its not like you dont do that. im sure most of you had experienced this before, especially when you have a sibling who never gets blamed for their mistakes. this is what it feels!

its just like the simple concept of cutting a recess queue (like in school), you can scold the people who cut queue all day, but when you are the one cutting queue, and everyone behind is unhappy, would you feel ashamed? you, who scold the people that cut queue. and you, who cut other people's queue.

a simple conclusion: humans are self-centered, what more can i say?

its sometimes sad to think about things like that. its things like these that degrades the human species.

what is the most savage, dispicable and dangerous creatures?
i would say, human beings.

to think im one.